he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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