Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
