Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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