I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
