Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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