Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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