3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
