you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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