Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize