FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
