she was so not down for the gang bang
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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