super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
