Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Green mimosas i think yes
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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