Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
