We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
