I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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