Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
