But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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