dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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