i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
