The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize
