maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
