two words: eviction party
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
