Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize