In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
