The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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