after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize