Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
