I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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