okay pat passed out under dana's car
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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