Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
