Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
