I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
