i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
