Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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