So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize