Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
