I'm laying in your front yard are you home
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
