Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
In America we eat man semen.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
