at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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