Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
