Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
