I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
