she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
