Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
