guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
