69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
pop tarts are not kleenex
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
