just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
