What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
"it" just moved
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
