the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he told me I talked like a deaf person
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
