Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
