God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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