I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
