Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
