Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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