New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
