OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
