Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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