I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
