she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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