Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the day after is always just damage control
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
