that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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